The only thing worse than getting rejected from Cornell University? Getting rejected from Cornell University … and accepted as anti-affirmative action dweebs’ latest strawman.


The saga — and subsequent social-media-wide debate — began when John, a rising senior and Ivy League hopeful, headed to TikTok with a clip depicting the moment he discovered he had been denied admission to the Ithaca institution.


“I got rejected,” John said upon learning the news, placing his Cornell-sweatshirt-clad hand up to his mouth.


@whitplusfive Check the box kid! #lmao #poorkid #white #dei #jokes #happy #cpnservative #republican #trump #trump2024 #college #kids #student ♬ Surround Sound - JID


At its core, John’s now-deleted video was nothing new. College decision videos are a viral tale as old as time —  or, well at least YouTube. What differentiated John’s clip from its thousands of predecessors were his list of credentials, the teen boasting his 4.6 (weighted) GPA, his SAT score, his creation of “investment portfolios” and the ominously context-free achievement of landing “on the news” before discovering he had been rejected from Cornell.


“It was still not good enough,” he wrote of his resume.


While it remains unclear whether John included these stats out of a sense of angry entitlement or to express solidarity with other college hopefuls learning hard lessons on Ivy League rigor, several right-wing chuds took his video and ran, condemning his rejection as proof that white boys have it so hard these days.



“Bro got rejected bc he's White,” @JoshLekach captioned his now-viral re-upload of the video before shilling his life guide — one boasting chapters like “Video Games Are G*y,” “How To Find Men In Not G*y Way” and “Weed Is F*g Plant” — as a comparable alternative to a Cornell education.


Despite his apparent outrage at John’s rejection, one shared by a handful of his followers, several others flocked to the comments to add some much-needed perspective to the senior’s college rejection.


“He deserved it,” wrote @fizzypilled. “1460 SAT is not impressive.”

“Respectfully as a former SAT/ATC and college essay tutor this resume wouldn't get a kid into a competitive state school (UNC, UMich, etc) a decade ago, added @christress, While @peakedin2009 likened John to Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob SquarePants.



But regardless of whether or not John’s Cornell rejection was deserved (let’s be real, it probably was), we can only hope the teen managed to get over it. To paraphrase @asherw01fe, getting decent grades is not a personality trait.